It said, “Jesus looked at him and loved him.”
He didn't issue a hard command to a stranger. He looked at this man—saw his sincerity, his effort, his attachment—and loved him. Then told him the one thing standing between him and eternal life.
What the experts say:
The Expositor's Bible Commentary (Abridged Edition): New Testament, available with Bible Gateway Plus, opens verse 21 this way:
21 Recognizing the young man's sincerity, Jesus responded in love. The one thing that prevented him from having eternal life was the security of his wealth. Jesus put his finger on the sensitive place by commanding him to go, sell all he had, give to the poor, and as his final instruction, "Come, follow me." For this man there could be no following of Jesus before he went, sold everything he had, and gave it away. His wealth and all it meant to him of position, status, comfort, and security prevented him from entering into eternal life. There is no indication, however, that Jesus' prescription was meant to be binding on all Christians (cf. Lk 19:8-9). What Jesus does tell us is that we must not be attached to material things. Since eternal life is a gift of God and cannot be earned, no saving merit must be attached to the action of giving all to the poor.
The love comes first. The instruction follows it. That's what slowing down to observe makes visible—and what trusted commentary confirms.
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