Worry. It's a word that has echoed through my life for as long as I can remember. Growing up, my sweet, faithful mom loved Jesus with all her heart—but she was also a worrier. She worried about everything: the weather, the news, our safety, our health, you name it. Her go-to response to life's uncertainties was to brace herself for the worst and plan for every possible disaster.
Despite my mom's steadfast faith, her worry played tug-of-war with her trust in God. While we prayed for peace and protection, we prepared for chaos. It's taken years for me to recognize how deeply those patterns shaped my own heart and responses to life's challenges. While I did not become a worrier (in fact, quite the opposite!), I did develop "control freak" tendencies– and both habits are troublesome signs of misplaced trust. Because what I'm really saying is, "God, I don't believe You've got this under control. I think I need to manage it myself." Worry and the need for control, then, become not just emotional reactions but spiritual declarations that reveal a lack of faith in God's promises.
A Personal Turning Point
Many years ago, I faced a situation that exposed just how tightly I'd been clinging to control. I lost my job unexpectedly, and the impact left me reeling. My instinct was to take control of the situation—updating my resume, connecting with former clients, and buckling down with family finances.
One night, as I sat in the quiet, overwhelmed by the weight of it all, I sensed God whispering to my heart: "Do you trust Me with this?" In that moment, I realized I hadn't truly released the situation into God's hands. I was holding on so tightly, convinced that my efforts could fix it all.
Slowly, I began surrendering my fears and leaning into God's peace. It didn't mean the need-for-control disappeared, but my grip on them loosened. I learned to take each anxious thought captive and redirect it to prayer, trusting that God was already at work.
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